Urban Legends

One of our most popular segments is called "Urban Legend". Typically, we make up a brand new urban legend with the hopes that it will be spread throughout the land. Here is a list of some of our urban legends:

Personalized jello
In the Middle Ages whenever there was a social gathering, a gelatin dessert made from the party host's nail clippings would be served. It was a symbol of intimacy, and one could actually get a flavour of the host.
Episode: What's the one thing Google does not have an answer for, when you search for it?
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Steve "The Wolf" Nash
Before every game, famous Canadian basketball player Steve Nash watches the final game in the movie Teen Wolf for inspiration. The 1980's smash hit Teen Wolf features a diminuitive basketball player played by Michael J. Fox - a fellow Canadian - who leads a team to victory. And it is also why Steve Nash has such fondness for fat people.
Episode: Motivational sneakers
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Butterflies were originally called butterflies, because it was believed that they excreted a butter-like substance. In middle-Dutch and middle-German, the word for butterfly literally meant "butter-shitter."
Episode: Mr. Butterballs
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The first bagpipes
Many years ago in Scotland, after having a few drinks people would play a pub game where they would either punch or grab someone's stomach or genitals in an attempt to force them to burp or fart. And if the burp or fart was audible, everyone in the pub would yell out "Bagpipes!" and then have another drink. This was the precursor to today's musical instrument, the bagpipes.
Episode: The Ultimate Bagpipery
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Early uses of celery
Dildos were discovered by accident. Back in the Middle Ages, it was important to keep the interior and exterior of a person's anus clean. A popular cleaning method was to use a stalk of celery. One day while cleaning himself, a man by the name of Dilbert Doe decided that his wife could benefit from the celery stalk in a different way. And thus it was born.
Episode: Linda's Favourite Hiding Spot
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The fairly small hobo
CTV is planning to remake every episode of The Littlest Hobo. But the catch is instead of it being a dog in the show, it will just be a man. It will be an actual hobo. They will keep the scripts as true to the original as possible, so basically he doesn't really talk at all. But whenever in the script when the dog barks, he's just going to say "Hey!"
Episode: Hobo
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Getting inked squid style
Before latex was invented, people especially near the coast would take a squid and remove the guts and legs from the squid, and then use the remaining tube part as a prophylactic. That's where the term "get inked" was originally used.
Episode: Goats 2009: Number 3
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Sabretooth Deer
Fossils have been found of a sabretooth deer, which is actually a carniverous animal. It would pretend to be grazing in a field -- like a deer would -- and then pounce upon unsuspecting prey.
Episode: Sabretooth Pants Number One
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How to Become a Zombie
People that are hypnotized on a regular basis have an increased risk of zombification once they die.
Episode: Halloweenie
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Runny Cat
If a cat drinks too much milk, it gets diarrhoea. But the truth is a cat having diarrhoea all the time is actually a healthy state for a cat.
Episode: Porcupine Poop
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The Flintstones Reality Show
The TV show "The Flintstones" is actually true, and it's based on "overwhelming archaeological evidence."
Episode: Machine Inquiry
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Skunky Chastity Belts
Before chastity belts were invented, skunk spray was used to help keep a woman's virginity.
Episode: What's That Hole in Luc's Leg?
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Snakes in a Drain
Early plumbers used an actual snake to clear pipes that were clogged. They would put a snake in a pipe and scare the snake and it would drive through the clog in the pipe.
Episode: Snake Mullet
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Brown Toothpaste
Leaving your toothbrush is the bathroom where you shit is the equivalent of eating a turd the size of your index finger every year.
Episode: Brown Toothpaste
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Easy on the Bacon
If you eat 30 mushrooms every day or if you eat 15,000 pounds of bacon every day, you are guaranteed to get cancer.
Episode: Ball Sack
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A History of Shotguns
The term "riding shotgun" originated in Ancient Rome, where people would "ride shotgun" in chariots. And what that meant was to sit on the floor of the chariot and perform oral sex on the driver. During this time, there were a lot of accidents with chariots - running into other chariots and bakeries.
The female version was called "riding landmine".
Episode: If I Pick It, It's Super Lame
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More Caffeine Please!
Ingesting very small amounts of caffeine actually acts as a sleeping agent. If you are wondering why this happens, think "magnets".
Episode: Fucking Fantasy Island
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A History of Coffee
Coffee was invented by an Arabian goat-herder named Kaldi after seeing his goats dancing euphorically after eating coffee beans.
Note: This was taken from the Internet, but we have no reference. Look it up yourself.
Episode: Luc Likes Horny Goats
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A History of Canada
The name "Canada" was actually a misunderstanding by some of the people that first came here. The natives were saying "Canada" but someone thought the natives were referring to this great country, but they were actually referring to a little village. Actually, this one's true.
Episode: Sock Tube
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Why do Men Have Nipples?
Men started wearing shirts because of a mandatory shirt-wearing rule that was instituted in the Middle Ages because of a nipple-tweaking prank that got way out of hand. This event marked the end of the Middle Ages in 1940.
Episode: Nipple Tweaker Ted
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Keith Urban Outs Canadians
Keith Urban singled out Canadians at a concert, and asked them all to leave because Canadians are not supporting the troops in Iraq.
Note: We disproved this urban legend thanks to snopes.com.
Episode: What's for dinner? Quorn!
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Scooby Poopy Doo
Originally, Scooby Doo wasn't a dog. In the actual pilot of the show, he was a walking pile of shit and was initially called "Scooby Doo Doo". His little sidekick's name was "Crappy Doo". It didn't test well, so they decided to make Scooby a dog.
Episode: Nicely tanned scrotum
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A History of Urban Legend
The term "urban legend" dates back to the Middle Ages, where it was primarily a rural society. People from the farm would go to the city and learn these great new learnings. They would go back to the farm and tell everyone about these great stories, and they became known as "urban legends."
Episode: Sweet Ass Shit #1
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How Dare You Sneeze!
Years and years ago, the phrase "Bless you!" was actually a swear word, much like "Fuck you." Sneezing was also considered very insulting, so whenever someone would sneeze, the automatic response was "Bless you!"
Episode: Hesitant Welcome
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Aren't You Glad You Use Colgate?
Toothpaste was originally invented by the ancient Egyptians, and it was actually made from cat semen because of the proteins and it helped prevent tooth decay. To acquire the cat semen, the speculation is that they used a clay jar and dressed it up like a female kitty, and had the male cat fuck the clay jar.
Episode: Forensic Fashion Expert
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Urination Preparation
A person should jump up and down vigorously just before going pee. That shakes up the sediment and removes harmful toxins from your body.
Episode: Luc's Bubble Throat
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Perverted Sharks
99% of shark attacks on humans are on people that are either having their period or have hemorrhoids that are inflamed.
Episode: Ewok Two
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